Why Us?
by sol-nemesis
Summary: After a long hiatus we have returned-new and improved! Basically, there's new shinigami who do nothing but cause trouble! The bishies should really just kill them before they destroy Enmacho! But their destructiveness may be an asset! Plot-Really!
1. The Newbies

Disclaimers: We do not own these characters! They belong to the creator and publishing companies. We are simply borrowing them to have some fun!

Chapter 1: The Newbies

"Oy! Hisoka!" Tsuzuki waved his chopsticks at his partner.

Hisoka pulled out a chair and made a disgusted face as Tsuzuki slurped down udon noodles.

"Why are you eating now? We have to get going!"

Tsuzuki sucked in a noodle, and it hit him in the nose before disappearing completely into his mouth. "Aw, relax. They have an eternity. We're each picking one up anyway right? So just let me finish dessert!"

Hisoka made a disgusted sound and got ready to leave, but he took the time to remind Tsuzuki, "Tatsumi will be upset if you go over your allowance." With that he left.

Right then a waitress set Tsuzuki's dessert in front of him and the bill.

He took a bite as he picked up the check and almost swallowed his spoon.

"Tatsumi's gonna kill me..." 

Tatsumi looked up as a flash went off and the door opened. He glanced down at one of the files in front of him.

Name: Hikigane Miyu

Age at time of death: 25 years old.

Cause of death: Motor collision

Abilities: Private

_Flash!_ Miyu had refocused her camera and taken another picture.

"Tsuzuki! My camera loves you! You were meant to be in pictures kid!"

Tsuzuki blushed and ran a hand through his hair.

A sly look passed over her face. She leaned across the Chief's desk. "Hey, how popular is Tsuzuki around here anyway?"

Konoe looked surprised, Tatsumi adjusted his glasses and reminded himself to add the cost of film to the accounts. The door swung open and Hisoka entered with another woman. Tatsumi looked down at her folder:

Name:Chishiki Yumi

Age at time of death:25 years old.

Cause of death:Motor collision.

Abilities:Private

He looked up from his reading when he noticed that the flashes were moving more rapidly. He saw Miyu frozen, with a death grip on the camera button, setting off a constant stream of flashes. Tsuzuki and the Chief were shielding their eyes. He noted that Yumi wasn't paying any attention to the chaos, but ranting at Hisoka.

"Can't we put off this whole "death" thing a few years? I'll have you know this has come at a very inconvenient time! I was just elected one of the youngest female leaders of Japan's National Anthropology Society!" She flipped a stray piece of black hair over her shoulder and sighed at the injustice of it all she walked past Hisoka to take a seat. She finally noticed Miyu and her camera. She shot back up. "_YOU?! _ What the hell are _you _doing here?"

Miyu finally released her death grip and lifted the camera from around her neck to slam it down on the table. "Well, well, well...if it isn't little-miss-history-nut!"

"Still as stupid as ever I see. That's anthropologist you lousy trigger-happy-tabloid-tramp!"

"Glad to see you're such good friends." Watari commented with a smile, entering a bit late, taking his seat.

"Me! Friends with that...that _thing?_" Yumi looked disgusted.

Miyu, who had already sat back down, scoffed. "Yeah? Well same here. Besides! Everyone knows the only friends who don't run screaming from her have all been dead for thousands of years!"

"Ahem!" The chief interjected. Addressing Miyu he said, "Then it's a good thing you're dead, it may not have been thousands of years, but one out of two is good enough for me. Despite your differences you two will be partnered together."

Miyu went white, "I'm...I'm...d-d-dead?"

Yumi reached across the table and flicked Miyu in the forehead. "Well, duh! Don't tell me you haven't figured that out by now! This just proves you're as dumb as a brick! No, scratch that...a brick would definitely be smarter!"

_FLASH! _ Miyu snapped a shot at Yumi, blinding her.

Tsuzuki sweat dropped and put a hand on Miyu's shoulder. "Just consider this a career change for the bet-"

"HOW?! How could _I, _Top reporter of _Chicago_, be dead?"

"Oh, I don't know... maybe because you're a brainless klutz?" Yumi suggested.

Ignoring her Miyu burst out crying. "I'll have someone's head for this! Better yet! Their job! I'll see they never live in peace again! I'll haunt them forever!"

Grabbing Chief by the collar she shook him violently. "Tell me who the lousy scum bag was! Names man! I want names!"

"Chishiki Yumi, driver of a dark purple Convertible. Travel speed at the time 85 mph." Tatsumi interjected.

Miyu practically tossed Konoe out of his chair. "Murderer! I always knew you hated me, but this?!"

Yumi looked astonished. "I thought that rusty hunk of junk looked familiar. But wait a second speeding beauty! Tatsumi, exactly how fast was this maniac going at the time?"

"Hikigane Miyu, driver of a blue and silver Ducati Monster. Travel speed at the time 87 mph."

Yumi and Miyu glared at each other.

"I KNEW YOU'D BE THE DEATH OF ME!" They screamed at the same time.

"Well I'll just bask in the knowledge that I most likely lived a few seconds longer than you." Yumi said smugly.

Once again Tatsumi interjected. "Time of death for both Miss Miyu and Miss Yumi was 1557 (3:57 p.m.)

Shaking her head, Yumi said, "Miyu, you always were a shameless copycat."

"Dream on! You were probably more than happy to meet your favorite bandage clad boyfriends in person!"

"I'll have you know my busy work schedule simply wouldn't allow for a frivolity like dating!" She moved on to a more offensive stand, "At least I don't openly stalk poor actors! Poor Seki can't even go shopping with out you telling everyone what name brands he wears or what he eats!"

"You're not worthy to even speak Tomokazu Seki's name you middle-aged mummy maniac!"

About an hour later, Konoe, Tatsumi, Tsuzuki, Hisoka, and Watari shared a bottle of aspirin and made the decision that it'd be best not to have Yumi and Miyu partner up.

"So then, Watari and Tatsumi, I know work in your divisions is a little slower, but I think it best they not be forced together. Don't worry though, they will still go out and get field experience with Tsuzuki and Hisoka."

Watari, who was now paired up with Yumi, pulled out a note pad and began writing questions about what being a woman is all about.

Tatsumi, whose new partner was Miyu, sighed over the fact Miyu had stormed out asking if they had a darkroom. Damn, film wasn't cheap.

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Yumi: After a very long hiatus we're back, much wiser, and much better. We're in the progress of re-editing and re-posting, and need motivation to keep it up. So please review!

Miyu: No fair! How come you got to start the dialogue again! You cadaver-loving freak!

Yumi: Because I have the computer that works!

Miyu: That doesn't matter! I should have started it!

Yumi: Who cares, tell them what else we need and I promise you can start the next chapter.

Miyu: Don't patronize me!

Yumi: Oh please, just do it!

Miyu: What, do I look like a waitress? Well to bad, I'm not taking orders.

(Continue arguing over the matter)

Hisoka crumples over in pain: Make it stop...

Tsuzuki steps forward: You'll have to excuse them. They're having a few problems right now. So please review and save Hisoka! What they're trying to get at is they expect more reviews than the last time around. It'll save us all some headaches...

Hisoka: Especially those of us who have to listen to them a second time around...


	2. Moving In

Disclaimers: We do not own these characters! They belong to the creator and publishing companies. We are simply borrowing them to have some fun!

Thank you to DarkSapphireDragon for our first review! We are very grateful!

Now if only more people would follow this fine person's example...

Chapter 2: Moving In

After the brief meeting with Konoe ended, Watari went back to his office. Yumi had already found it, and was scanning through a book while feeding 003 a cracker, not even noticing all the crumbs it left on her shoulder. There were several small pyramids and skulls spread around her desk, and Watari noticed that the total amount of stuff, especially paper, had quadrupled. Being a fellow scientist he understood perfectly and didn't mind at all. He smiled as an amusing thought entered his head, "Tatsumi's gonna have a coronary when he comes in here." Not wanting to disturb her he quietly sat down at his computer to do some work. A knock at the door made him look up, but Yumi paid no attention, instead choosing to pet 003 on the head.

"We're here with a few more of Chishiki- san's things." A voice called.

"It's open!" Watari replied.

The first items they dropped off were a few boxes. Watari glanced into one and saw a clay imprint of a skeletal hand. Under the print was a small gold inscription that read: "My First Discovery" in a flowery scroll.

He was curious and continued to rummage around in the box since Yumi didn't seem to mind. In a short while he heard another voice from the door, "Excuse me." He looked up to see a giant sarcophagus looking down at him.

"Ack!" Watari exclaimed as he jumped out of the way. "Is that really necessary Yumi-san?"

Giving him a response for the first time since he had entered the office, she said, "Of course it is! This just happens to be a full-size replica of the sarcophagus that King Tutankhamen's primary wife was buried in! It's a wonderful treasure that I refuse to part with!" Yumi ventured over it and inspected it to make sure there was no damage during the transfer.

Watari calmed down considerably and said, "Ah, a lady with great power, that might not be so bad. I knew this office needed a woman's touch."

Tatsumi was greeted a bit differently at his door. When he entered a bright flash blinded him. "Aw! Your glasses are going to leave a glare!"

Tatsumi blinked away the spots that danced before his eyes. And looked around at his office...Dear Enma! What happened to the walls? Every inch was covered with pictures and photo clippings. And the floor! There were boxes everywhere, which he assumed to be photography stuff. Mounted on his desk was big autographed photo framed in silver. He picked it up and read the signature: "To My Photo-Princess Miyu. Love Tomokazu Seki."

"Isn't he dreamy?" Miyu sighed beside him, staring lovingly at the picture. "I took that during one of his tours with Weiß!" She pulled out a silver locket and opened it. There was a mini version of the same photo. "See? I take him with me everywhere!"

He politely smiled and handed her the photo. "You have interesting taste in decorations. I can tell you have a very lively personality." Miyu blushed and smiled, taking the comment as praise.

"Miyu-san..."

"Oh! Please, you can call me Miyu-chan, Tatsumi sempai!"

At the moment, Tatsumi decided a darkroom would be a wonderful addition, no matter what the cost. He once again made a mental note. "Well then, Miyu-chan, we'll need a little more space for your desk and some shelves. Here, I'll even help you organize a bit."

"But what will we do with my stuff? My photography things need a safe dry place for storage."

"I'm sure the Chief will agree that your photography skills will be most useful. A darkroom will be provided immediately."

Miyu clapped and laughed. "Yay! But my Chichiri UFO doll stays with me!"

Tatsumi simply agreed.

Then something popped into Miyu's head. "Oh yeah! Tatsumi-sempai, can you help familiarize me with your system so I can set up a web page? Tsuzuki is so cute that I think I can make a lot of money off a pay-per-picture site! For helping me I'll give you a special discount! And your first photos are free!" she giggled.

Tatsumi's fake smile began to hurt his face, but he agreed.

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Miyu: Moving day has always been a pain. But Tatsumi is going to get me a darkroom, so look forward to some great photos!  
  
Yumi: Miyu! Who gave you permission to start the dialogue?  
  
Miyu: (sticks out tongue) You gave me permission to start this dialogue. Has your brain turned to dust with your last boyfriend?  
  
Yumi: No, but I'm surprised yours hasn't atrophied from lack of exercise.  
  
Miyu: Hey, I get plenty of exercise... Thunder thighs!  
  
Yumi: What did you call me you sugar snorting donut hog?!  
  
Miyu: Better a hog than a pig like you! I wish you'd go clean your office!  
  
Yumi: I wish you'd just go away!  
  
(They continue arguing despite the fact that Watari's lab has exploded right behind them)

Watari: I found it! My potion! Tsuzuki!  
  
Hisoka: (Doubling over in pain once again and Tsuzuki goes over to him and carries him to a different room, with Watari close behind carrying a vial)  
  
Tatsumi: (Adjusting his glasses) I guess I get to finish up this time...everyone else is a bit busy right now...so, please keep reviewing. The review we received did wonders to calm them down, which saves money in our damage costs and cuts down wasted time on the job.

Just a little extra note: the next chapter gets more into the plot with shinigami stuff... but we felt the need for a transitional chapter-we thought it gave insight to our characters, despite several people disliking OCs (but hey, several people still write them, so i figure it doesn't truly matter whether or not people like OCs, they can choose not to read after all). Anyways, it does get better, we promise!


	3. The Bet and the Headache

Disclaimers: We do not own these characters! They belong to the creator and publishing companies. We are simply borrowing them to have some fun!

Once again, thank you to DarkSapphireDragon for being our one and only reviewer!

To everyone else, if you're reading this and actually enjoying it, or even if you hate it... a review or two, even some flames, might make us get chapters out more than once a week...

Chapter 3: The Bet and the Headache

Yumi entered Tatsumi's office and shuddered violently. "Yuck! It's just like in college!" Tatsumi, shocked to find someone else in the office, quickly turn his computer screen out of the doors view.

"Can I help you Yumi-san?"

Yumi took a deep breath and averted her eyes from the walls. "The chief asked me to pick up Miyu. Another death was just reported sir."

"Gushoshin took her to Watari's office. She said something about a man named Dr. Howell and ran off to take pictures."

Yumi sighed deeply. "What a pest." As she turned to leave Tatsumi heard her mutter, "I should also warn poor Tsuzuki he's famous."

Miyu was draped over Watari's desk, camera in hand. "So what do you think? A magazine featuring you and all your clever inventions! We can even put in a fan poster! You'll have the scientific world drooling at your feet!"

"Wow? Do you think so? Maybe I'll get a bit more funding out of Tatsumi huh?" Watari wondered.

"Totally!" Miyu agreed. "But first! This is no environment for someone super smart like you! No one as cute as you are should be surrounded by such a creepy environment! Here! I'll help!" She jumped off his desk and began tossing Yumi's things back into boxes.

"Eww! I remember most of this junk from when we were dorm mates! Must she be so morbid? Just you wait. Pretty soon you'll be finding dead body parts in your drawers and cursed artifacts under your pillows!"

"Those curses were specified for annoying roommates like you!" Yumi yelled from the doorway. "Now come on and leave _my_ partner alone! He is not Dr. Howell... NOT SEKI!"

Yumi grabbed Miyu by one of her green ponytails and dragged her out the door. Miyu took one last photo of Watari waving goodbye.

The two headed for Tsuzuki and Hisoka's office, arguing the entire time over anything they could think of. _Knock Knock! _The Gushoshin opened the door.

"Ah! Yumi-san and Miyu-san! Tsuzuki told us you were stopping by. However, he's not here right now, he took Hisoka back to his house. Hisoka wasn't feeling well; muttering something about massive negative energy and arguments." Gushoshin said.

"What's wrong with negative energy?" Miyu asked, finally freeing herself from Yumi's grip.

"Well, Hisoka is quite empathic, so he feels other people's emotions very strongly..." Gushoshin said.

Yumi and Miyu both scratched their heads guiltily and giggled nervously, but Yumi just said, "Oh...that must be hard...uh, Miyu, come on!" She grabbed her by the arm and headed for Hisoka's house (He has his own house in the manga, instead of the corporate enmacho apartments).

On the way there, Yumi said, "You idiotic tabloid tramp! You're gonna kill Hisoka with your negative energy!"

"Excuse me you cadaverous creep, but you were arguing as well!" Miyu spouted back.

"Perhaps, but _you_ started it, _you always_ start it!"

"No, you always start it!"

This continued on like that until they reached Hisoka's place. "Now shut up! Stop arguing with me!" Yumi said.

"No! You're the one arguing!"

"No! You are!"

"Both of us stop it! We're going to go meet up with those two, and not to kill Hisoka in the process!"

They shut up and headed up the steps, just glaring at each other. When they reached the correct place, Miyu proceeded to knock and say, "Tsuzuki-sempai, Hisoka-chan!"

No one answered the door and Yumi noticed an open window next to it. She peeked in, and saw Hisoka asleep on the sofa with his head on Tsuzuki's lap. "Aww...that's so cute!"

When she said that Miyu peeked in as well and saw Tsuzuki reach out and brush Hisoka's hair out of his face. Hisoka stirred at the contact and slowly opened his eyes. "They are _so _adorable together!"

After that, at the same time, the two women said, "They would be the perfect couple! I'm gonna get them together!"

Just then, Yumi and Miyu realized their consensus and glared daggers at each other. Electricity passed between them.

"Don't you dare try to steal my idea!" Yumi said in a loud whisper, not wanting the two shinigami to hear her.

"It's my idea!" Miyu said in a loud whisper.

"It's mine you little copy cat!"

"No, mine!"

Tsuzuki was just sitting back when Hisoka grabbed his head and hyperventilated. "Hisoka! What's wrong!?"

"They're here...I can...feel their anger...they're arguing again..." Hisoka choked out and lay back down weakly.

Tsuzuki got up and gently laid Hisoka's head on a pillow and came to the door. "Will you two please stop it? Your arguing is affecting Hisoka."

They stopped immediately and looked guilty as Tsuzuki opened the door.

"Sorry Tsuzuki-sempai!" Miyu said.

"Sorry Tsuzuki-san." Yumi said as well, but then turned to Miyu. "I'll make you a deal. If I manage to do it first, you have to be my slave for a month and clean every single one of my artifacts carefully without harming them!"

"Huh?" Tsuzuki looked confused. "Manage to do what?"

"Fine then, if I win, you have to worship at my shrine to Tomokazu Seki and be my slave for a month!"

They shook hands, "Deal!"

Tsuzuki just looked confused as the two women proceeded into the House. Yumi spoke up and said, "Sorry Hisoka-san, I didn't mean to cause you grief. Miyu! Apologize!"

"Stop yelling at me! I was going to apologize first, you just talk faster than me!" Miyu said as Yumi glared.

Miyu glared back and Hisoka rubbed his head some more. "Oh! Gomenesai!" She pulled out her locket. "Think happy thoughts! Think happy thoughts!" Miyu said, and then proceeded to sit far away from Yumi in hopes that the anger would be dissipated a bit between them.

"It's about time!" Tsuzuki said after they sat down on opposite sides of the room and stopped glaring at each other. He sat down by Hisoka again and looked at them. "Okay, here's the deal. You two are to accompany us on our next assignment, just to get the hang of what a typical job is like. The chief said we're supposed to provide you with the field experience that you won't get with Tatsumi and Watari."

"So, what's our first mission?" Miyu excitedly asked.

"Just a simple serial murder case that has lots of evidence. The reason you were brought in was to help with our most current supernatural serial killing case, but the chief felt it too extreme to just throw you in with no experience beyond basic training." Tsuzuki told them.

Hisoka finally stopped doubling over in pain, despite still looking drained, and sat up saying, "Basically, you're getting the chance to practice your fuda skills. We have also been informed that each one of you has a special ability that you had while you were alive. The abilities were why you two were offered shinigami positions. Hopefully, this case will allow you to tap into them"

"Interesting... very interesting. I feel as if I have good control over my fuda after the training, but what else is there? A special ability... nothing manifested while I was alive... perhaps something from a culture I have studied?" Yumi calmly said as she methodically began running through all of her research trips and thinking what powers may have resulted. "I knew my constant quest for knowledge would serve me well someday." She paused and then continued, "Even if I had to die first..."

On the other side of the room, Miyu was bouncing up and down, "Yes! A chance to use my fuda skills! But what else do I have? Can't somebody just tell me?"

"Geez, can't you ever think for yourself?" Yumi commented dryly, throwing a pillow at her head.

"Shut up Yumi! I bet I'll find mine out first and become the best!" Miyu snapped back, tossing the pillow aside.

Yumi was going to comment, but then remembered that Hisoka was still there. "We'll finish this later...I think we've caused enough trouble for him today." She commented waving her hand towards Hisoka.

"Fine, I'll wait." Miyu said and sat back down to contemplate quietly.

Hisoka looked very relieved and Tsuzuki spoke up, "We leave early tomorrow. Tatsumi has arranged a place for us to stay at.

With that, Yumi and Miyu got up to leave. As soon as they were down the steps they started arguing. Tsuzuki just shook his head, "What is it with them?"

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Yumi & Miyu simultaneously blurt out: Please give me your reviews!

Yumi glares at Miyu: Why should you get anything after what you did to Hisoka?

Miyu: I can see the headlines now, cute boy killed (again) by annoying anthropologist!

Yumi: If anything kills Hisoka it will be your high-pitched anime voice giving him a headache so bad he kills himself.

Miyu: "Ha! He's already dead you dope!"

Hisoka is passed out and Tsuzuki and Watari jump the girls and gag them both.

Chief: "Please... this is the second time we have to listen to them... at least they shut up when they're reading reviews... Please..."

(Tatsumi pulls out a calculator and multiplies the price of another industrial size bottle of aspirin, muttering to himself, "This has been on hiatus so long that we're going bankrupt from the cost of aspirin")


	4. Staff Meetings Will Never be the Same Ag...

Disclaimers: We do not own these characters! They belong to the creator and publishing companies. We are simply borrowing them to have some fun!

Sol: "Sorry I'm a couple of days late on the update, but you can't blame me because nobody's reviewing..."

Nemesis: "It's a very sad day indeed when no one can even be bothered to click on the little button right at the bottom of the text..."

Sol: "Once again, we don't care if you love us, hate us, or are indifferent to us... we just want to know that people are reading."

Nemesis: "We don't care if you flame us, or if you just say that you're reading it... we only want feedback in some form or other."

Chapter 4: Staff Meetings Will Never be the Same Again

The next day Tsuzuki was brought to the door by the smell of food. It swung open and in it stood Yumi and Miyu, heads bowed, each holding out a large basket.

Miyu looked up, "I'm really, really, really sorry! I made you breakfast!"

Yumi looked up, "We shouldn't have argued in front of Hisoka. I hope this makes up for it."

Tsuzuki cringed because they had just interrupted each other. He could just feel a fight coming on, but when neither of them seemed to notice he moved aside and let them into the room. His attention was then immediately drawn to the food. Miyu had barely put the basket on the conference room table when Tsuzuki pulled out a plate of cinnamon rolls! Before he could take a bite the Chief plucked them from his grasp.

"Aww..." Little puppy Tsuzuki whined.

Ignoring him the Chief inhaled and thanked Yumi and Miyu, who just smiled and set out the huge feast. On one side of the table Miyu set out her buffet of Cinnamon rolls, donuts, cinnamon toast dripping with syrup, and chocolate chip muffins. Tsuzuki and the Chief were first to sit down on that side. Yumi laid out a very nice line of tea and toast. She also had a plate of bran muffins and fruit tarts. Hisoka sat down near the fruit tarts and Tatsumi helped himself to a cup of tea and watched Tsuzuki wolfing down another muffin. Watari sat in the Chief's usual seat and held up a small bit of toast for 003 while taking a bite of the cinnamon roll Miyu placed in front of him. The only one who seemed to notice Yumi and Miyu's lack of hostility was Hisoka, but he didn't want to comment... just in case. But the peace didn't last for too long. Everyone chatted happily except for them, and Tsuzuki who was to busy eating. About 10 minutes into breakfast, Miyu blurted out, "Yuck! Bran muffins? Why not just feed them prunes? They look like something she dug out of a musty old tomb!"

Tatsumi looked slightly startled. Hisoka cringed but Yumi hadn't seemed to notice at all. Yumi just picked up a bran muffin and spread a little marmalade on it. Miyu made a face as Yumi took a bite.

"Well I think your fruit tarts are very good Yumi-san." Hisoka mentioned.

Yumi, not responding to him, wiped her mouth and stated calmly, "Now I remember why the little pest is always so hyper. Though by now I expected her to weight about 300 lbs. I bet all her original teeth have fallen out already! Yup, they must be caps."

The Chief licked a bit of frosting off his fingers and cleared his throat. "Well then, why not start the meeting shall we?"

"Well, today we'll take Yumi-san and Miyu-chan down to the 2nd sector. We've tracked down Porre. Watari's got the details." Tsuzuki said between bites of syrupy toast.

Watari put aside his plate and opened his laptop. "Porre, 39 yrs. Male. Started out as a bank teller, and is now the president of the company. His success occurred over night and was bloody as well. The police took him in for questioning but his alibi is airtight. The manner of the deaths is what tipped us of it was no human's doing. In each case the victims all had small puncture wounds located around occipital plate of the skull."

Tsuzuki looked at Watari, totally confused.

"The back of the head." Hisoka clarified.

"Yes. It took awhile but the demon has been identified as Makaku. He's made a contract with Porre, promising to make his dreams come true, and in return demands Porre too lure victims. The higher the IQ the better."

Hisoka stood up. "I'm going to go. I need to ask Gushoshin a few things. Tsuzuki, You should take them to the hotel across the street from the bank. I'll meet you there."

Hisoka pushed away from the table when Miyu asked. "Hey Hisoka! Where are you off to? Did you eat one of those nasty bran muffins? I told Yumi not to bring those!"

Everyone stared at her in confusion. The chief sweat dropped, thinking he had another Tsuzuki on his hands. "Haven't you been paying attention at all Miyu-chan?" But Miyu was still looking at Hisoka. When he didn't make a move to sit back down she got up and pushed him into her seat. "Here! Try some of the things I made! They're much yummier than that crap!"

Hisoka was extremely lost about what was happening.

Yumi watched as Miyu plunked Hisoka down in a new chair. Breaking off a bit of her muffin half she tossed it at Miyu's head. "I know this isn't going to get through to you, but if Hisoka wants to leave you should let him. It was probably watching you eat that made him sick."

Miyu brushed crumbs off her face and stuck her tongue out at Yumi. "I'm not listening to a word you say, but I can see you have bran for brains!"

"Now Miyu-chan, that wasn't very nice." Tatsumi scolded, but Miyu, who had hung on his every word since they had met, didn't even glance his way.

"Miyu-chan?" Watari stood up and waved a hand in front of her face and she grinned at him.

"Oops! I forgot! You guys can still hear me can't you? Well promise not to tell on me k?" Miyu reached up and pulled something out of her ears.

"Oh, is it time to start the meeting?" Yumi asked, also pulling out her earplugs.

Tsuzuki face faulted and fell out of his chair. Hisoka was shocked, and the chief seemed to be suppressing tears. Tatsumi choked a bit on a bite of toast and quickly sipped his tea. Watari simply laughed and pulled out a small note pad to jot down a few notes.

"You two have been wearing earplugs this whole time?!" The chief shouted.

Yumi gave him a look that just said 'well-duh, and told him "How else do you think we got through college as roommates?"

"Yeah!" Miyu agreed, "Besides, Yumi snores loud enough to wake the dead...but I think that might be her goal."

Watari, who was closest to Miyu at the time clamped a hand over her mouth and pointed at Hisoka, who was rubbing his temples.

"Sorry Hisoka!" Yumi apologized.

Miyu got an idea and pulled Watari's hand away from her mouth, but didn't let it go. Instead she pulled him towards the door. "Yumi! Tell me how the meeting goes! We'll be back before ya'know it!"

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(Yumi and Miyu are bound and gagged, tied to high backed chairs in Hakushaku's mansion. Zoom in on his laptop The screen is coated in sexy pictures of Tsuzuki).

Lord Hakushaku: Ah, the quiet is so relaxing. A toast to Miss Miyu's web page! It's lovely, very lovely. It always gets good reviews from several of the shinigami. But enough promotions for that; do tell me what you think of our story thus far. Maybe with enough reviews, say...three or four, even just one or two... we might just decide to keep them this way. Which reminds me; Hisoka is doing much better for all parties concerned about our little green-eyed bishounen.


	5. Demons, Black Ash, and Props?

Disclaimers: We do not own these characters! They belong to the creator and publishing companies. We are simply borrowing them to have some fun!

Nemesis: You're late!

Sol: Gomen, Gomen! I swear it's not my fault! My word program isn't working... I had to copy all our story files to discs and transfer them to another computer before I could access them... I've uninstalled, defragged, scanned, reinstalled.... And still nothing.

Nemesis: Oh well, I suppose it doesn't matter...only one more review since the last chapter anyway. NO ONE LIKES US! Except of course, our dear DarkSapphireDragon Thank you!

Sol: True... maybe I shouldn't feel bad. However, once again, please let us know if you're reading this. If you really want, you can just sign your name and not type anything, just throw us a bone here... something to indicate you're reading... ANYTHING!

Chapter 5: Demons, Black Ash, and Props?

Yumi knew Miyu would be late, she just knew it. Tsuzuki, Hisoka, and herself had been in the crappy room for hours now, and Miyu hadn't shown up till just a few minutes ago. Watari had dropped her personally after she had managed to teleport herself into a bar, a bathroom on an airplane, and the Chief's office! Yumi, not wanting to hurt Hisoka ignored Miyu's entrance completely and continued reading a book.

"Sorry I'm late! But I brought presents! Here Tsuzuki-sempai, I got a nice bottle of Sake from the bar I was at earlier. And this is for you Hisoka-chan!" Miyu handed Hisoka a black leather wristband with three green stones set side by side. "It's a special talisman just for you! It's said that Malachite is great for warding off bad vibes! Not to mention it's very stylish! Here Tsuzuki-sempai! I made you one too. You guys stand together over there, you're so cute!" Watari left as she started taking pictures. She stopped for a minute as she looked around. "Umm, why is this room such a piece of crap? I thought this was a nice hotel... I can't have the best photo shoot possible unless it's a pleasing environment."

"Tatsumi's a bit of cheapskate, or hadn't you figured that out yet, despite the size of your allowance?" Yumi commented. "And is this what you made us wait for? To give Hisoka-kun fashion tips?"

Miyu shook her head while putting her camera down and gestured at her hair, which was now auburn in a short cut. "Hey, you're the one who lectured me for a half an hour about proper and business appropriate hair colours."

"If you'd stop playing dress up and act like an adult I wouldn't have to lecture you. Do you even remember what your natural hair looks like anymore? Or are you bald under all those stupid wigs?"

Hisoka braced himself for the wave of negativity but the charm seemed to work.

"Yay! If that can block her negative personality you'll be fine." Miyu cheered.

"Now back to business." Yumi said after rolling her eyes at Miyu's comment. They sat on the two beds that adorned the room and started. "Watari said the demon likes his victims smart. The higher the IQ the better, so since it's between the two of us," She glared at Miyu, "I'll be the bait."

"I think I'd be better for this job!"

"Why? Because you look like a worm?"

"No! Because a good reporter like me will be able to get more information, and my IQ is higher than yours."

"Impossible!"

"It has to be. After all I worked hard to be the best, and my IQ is now the same as Dr. Alexander Howell's, a perfect 260!"

"YOU? A 260?! You mean all that time on that computer of yours you were actually studying? That is completely and totally impossible. I refuse to believe that a slacker like you could match my IQ! You must have read the test results wrong! It must have said 26!"

Hisoka looked at Tsuzuki and just said to the women, "Both of you should go."

Tsuzuki handed Yumi the picture, "Here he is. He should be down in the bar. Our information says he stops every night after work for a drink."

"Thank you! Miyu get moving!"

After they left, Hisoka said, "At least it will be quiet for a bit."

Down in the bar Miyu pointed out, "There he is!"

"Well then, let's go take a seat at that table next to him." They headed over to the table and sat down. In a whisper, Yumi said, "Now try to keep up with me."

Miyu stuck her tongue out, but just called the waitress over and ordered drinks.

"You know, on my latest trip to Greece I found an interesting temple carving. I've been doing some research, and it seems to suggest that it comes from one of the temples that were dedicated to Aphrodite. It seems to be a picture of her, but there are some strange inscriptions on the bottom. It's similar to Greek, but it is a bit different. Here's a picture. You have any ideas?" Yumi pulled out the picture of Porre, but put it away right afterwards.

"Hmm... you're right. That does seem to be a carving of her on that tablet. The inscription is strange. Have you started deciphering it yet? If it's Greek... maybe an earlier version of writing?" Miyu said, going along with the story.

"Yes, the fragment is currently being restored and cleaned, so we can get a better idea, but a few of us have pictures so we can work on it in the meantime." Yumi continued on when someone appeared next to her.

"Good evening ladies, I don't mean to be rude, but I overheard you discussing something about ancient Greece?" Porre stood next to Yumi.

"Oh, yes, I'm an anthropologist, but lately I've been doing a lot of work with the archeology society, seeing as several of the archaeologists I work with are away in the Peruvian rainforest right now. The carving we were discussing is a find from a trip I filled in for." She stopped, "Oh dear, I'm being rude aren't I. Sir, would you like to sit down?" Yumi acknowledged him.

"No, but I thought you might like to come with me. I have a friend who is also a well-know archeologist. He lives nearby, so I just thought that maybe he could help you. I would be more than happy to introduce you." Porre continued in a smooth voice as he laid his hand on her shoulder.

"That's a wonderful idea Yumi. We might be able to find out some information. This has been troubling you, hasn't it?" Miyu spoke up, thinking, _"Got him!"_

"Well sure, but may I ask your name?"

"Oh yes, my name is Porre, I am the president of the bank across the street." He then turned to Miyu, "Miss, I didn't catch your name."

"Oh, I'm Miyu. Pleased to meet you!" She answered standing up. She went over to Yumi and pulled her up as well. "Come on, this may be very beneficial to you!"

As they headed down an alley, Yumi thought, _"Hmm...suppose I should play the part of someone beginning to worry about their safety."_ She then spoke, "Mr. Porre, where are we headed? We don't seem to be going to any buildings."

"My dear, we are stopping right here," He said as they hit the darkest part of the alley. "You will now serve as fuel for my power!"

With that Porre physically transformed into a large twisted creature. Within seconds, _FLASH!_ "So, Makaku. You finally show your true form, huh?" Miyu spoke up, snapping a photo to blind him.

"What? How do you know who I am?" A deep voice came out from the creature.

"We're here to see that you don't live to kill anyone else!" Yumi spoke up in response as she faced him, staring him in the eye.

Makaku eyed the women carefully, "Ah, I see, shinigami. This will be a marvelous meal."

Back at the bar, Tsuzuki and Hisoka were standing outside trying to figure out if Makaku had made his move yet. "Tsuzuki-san, Makaku should have made his move by now. It's been thirty minutes. I'm becoming worried."

"You're right, but I haven't sensed him anywhere." Tsuzuki looked at his partner.

"I can't sense him, but there is danger...wait a sec!" Hisoka glanced down at the talisman on his wrist, "Could it be these work a little too well?"

Just as he removed the bracelet and sensed the evil, a bright flash of light came from down the street.

"There!" Tsuzuki shouted, and both shinigami ran towards the alley.

In the alley, Makaku glanced them over one more time before lunging toward the two women. Yumi's eyes grew big as she saw the beast headed for her. She threw a fuda towards him, muttering an incantation, but it didn't do much damage and in preparation for impact, she threw her hands up in front of her face. However, the impact never came. She looked up and saw something glowing on her wrist.

Miyu used a fuda as well, but it didn't do much damage either, and threw her hands up as well when beast lunged towards them, but when she looked up there was a strange light surrounding her as well, and nothing had touched her.

"Tsuzuki! Look!" Hisoka pointed out as they landed. They had got there just in time to see a barrier form automatically around Miyu and Yumi.

"That's good," Tsuzuki answered as he looked on. "Their spells seem to be working."

Makaku, still blinded from the lights, hadn't noticed the new presence, nor made another move.

Behind the barrier, Yumi focused on her wrist and realized the source was the bracelet she was wearing. "What? Is this my 'power', a barrier? No... there's something else."

Tsuzuki and Hisoka looked on, "Watch." Tsuzuki said. "We're about to see something interesting."

Hisoka remembered something that Tatsumi had mentioned when he told him about Yumi. "Oh... she had some type of ancient magic in her right?"

Tsuzuki nodded. "Supposedly, there's something that made Enma interested. Also, Miyu is supposed to have some sort of ability that balances and supports Yumi perfectly... they're not sure what yet though. All we know is that when they've combined powers, albeit grudgingly, it has had awesome destructive force. I must admit, I'm very interested. Their powers are almost like two halves of a whole."

Hisoka thought, "Hmm... maybe Tsuzuki feels as if he's found someone like him... lots of innate power and that's why he's so into this."

Yumi spoke, "_Power of the sun... the strongest flame in existence. Listen to me and come forth, power of the sun god Ra!_" A flame came out of the bracelet as Yumi moved her left hand up and over. She turned her hand palm up and a flame sat there. She then put her right hand next to the left one, and looked at the flame. It shot out of her hand and at the beast. Makaku was blasted backwards into the wall, but he wasn't finished yet.

"Hmm... the chief and count will want to know this. She can call on the power of the strongest deity in the ancient Egyptian culture. That's quite an accomplishment." Tsuzuki stated, readying himself in case they needed help.

"What...it's not strong enough...not yet." Yumi said as she repositioned her hands and tried to cast it again.

Before she could start the spell, Miyu stepped forward, camera in hand, with a fuda in front of it.

"Smile now my pretty, and I'll grant you the eternal memory of what you've become tonight! I spent all my life exposing monsters like you for what they are! And in my death, you'll pay for the arrogance of thinking you could hide from me forever! You're nothing but a body snatcher, and you'll be nothing when I take that body back! Say Good night Gracie!"

The light from Miyu's next shot completely blinded Makaku as the fuda shot towards him. In the next instant the alley was dark again and Porre's body was nowhere in site. Makaku stumbled and fell, twitching like a cockroach, dragging himself farther down into the darkness.

"Wha-what have you done? The pain! It's unbearable! N-n-need endorphins...must..."

"Die?" Yumi asked. Repositioning her hands she cast fire at Makaku one last time. Without a supporting body, or the energies he had gained by devouring human brain cells, he was left as nothing more than black ash that was swept away in the night breeze.

Hisoka looked a little longer. "What about the camera? Is it enchanted or something?"

Tsuzuki sweatdropped, "Actually, I think that's just a prop..." A duplicate sweatdrop appeared behind Hisoka.

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Miyu: I'm free! Even though I wish Shaku-sempai had only released me, and waited for at least 10 reviews before un-gagging mighty mouth over there... Oh well! Just means we'll have to press on!

Yumi: Whom are you calling mighty mouth you Tell-all-tattle-tail! Reporters like you should be kept in your own little rubber rooms. Though, as unthinkable as it seems, I agree it'd be nice to get a few more reviews.

Miyu: Gee...That little hint was about as subtle as Tomokazu Seki doing an impression of Jackie Chan in Accidental Spy running around nude with yellow and green powder covering his cute backside and nothing but a tambourine in front...

Yumi: Get your Seki-obsessed mind out of the gutter! I've been putting up with you for too long! Stupid long hiatus... sol, nemesis! What have you been doing?


	6. Candlelit Encounters

Disclaimers: We do not own these characters! They belong to the creator and publishing companies. We are simply borrowing them to have some fun!

Sol: Hey out there! Anyone reading yet? Thank you once again to DarkSapphireDragon for your continued support, it makes me very happy.

Nemesis: Ahem! She means make US very happy. Now once again, please give is some tiny, minuscule indication that you're reading. We do take everything and anything, harsh flames and blanks accepted! Just sign your name and indicate you're reading!

Chapter 6: Candlelit Encounters

Tatsumi opened the door to Hakushaku's mansion. Yumi was immediately fascinated by all of the rare artifacts and kept straying off to the side to gaze at them. Miyu played with the zoom on her camera and happily recounted the events that had taken place in the alley.

"And then Yumi fired up the Ra thing and presto! Instant ash! I wanted to do a chalk outline for a before-and-after kind of thing, but the ashes all kept blowing away! Yumi and Hisoka made me go, cause cops heard Makaku's screaming."

Eventually, after a few detours, they reached a set of double doors. Tatsumi smiled and adjusted his glasses. "The count wishes to meet you both. Please try and be as respectful as you can. And if the opportunity arises ask if he looked over the latest account proposals I sent him." Tatsumi opened the door and ushered them inside, closing it quietly behind them.

Miyu snapped a few shots of the elegantly decorated table lit beautifully by a roaring fire in the background. She couldn't resist and said, "Honey! I'm home!" Then she spotted a laptop sitting at one end of the table. "Check it out! The Dark Age meets the 20th Century! Very fashionable! Shaku-sama's got good taste." She took a picture and sat down and pulled the laptop closer to her. "Oh! A fan!"

Yumi pulled out a chair and sat down. "You're so nosy. Didn't Tatsumi just tell you to be on your best behavior?"

"I will be, and look who's talking miss gotta-see-everything-on-the-tables-in-the-halls."

Yumi rolled her eyes. "Unlike you, I don't have to handle everything... I just looked, I didn't touch a single thing. Anyways, what do you think you're doing now? Didn't your parents ever teach you it's not nice to take what isn't yours?"

Miyu bolted upright and slammed her fists on the table, causing one of the candles fall over and extinguish. "Don't you _ever_ speak about my family!" She snarled.

Yumi jerked in surprise and then thought, "Oh yeah... her family... forgot about her issues with that. I suppose I could be more thoughtful." She spoke up, "Sorry... my bad." She shrugged and reached out, putting the candle upright, re-lighting it with some of her fire. Miyu went back to typing on the laptop and the room fell silent again. As she finished, Yumi caught a glint of silver flicker behind Miyu's shoulder. Before she could even gasp a white glove shot up to an empty mask in a motion for silence.

But Yumi was too shocked to care what the ghostly figure wanted. "M-m-m-m-Miyu!"

"What?" Miyu snapped.

"M-m-m-Miyu!"

"Will you stop stammering and te-"Miyu looked up. Yumi had gone pale and pointed with a shaky finger to something obviously right behind her. A hand settled on her shoulder and Miyu gulped and took her hands off the keyboard. Turning her head very slowly towards the direction of the hand she encountered a silver mask staring at her without a face.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Miyu bolted from the seat and cowered behind Yumi.

"Good evening ladies! I am Hakushaku, Lord of this manor. It's a pleasure to meet y-"

"Weird!" Yumi's scientific sense had kicked in and she jumped forward to touch his mask. "A classic example of disembodiment! There appears to be no matter to the figure. How is this possible?" Yumi's mind was racing; she then picked up a random candle and extinguished the flame, and held it next to the invisible form. She blew the smoke towards the figure to see if an outline appeared. "Sort of...but it's very faint." She then proceeded to re-light the candle and held it near the mask.

She was about to conduct more tests, when a voice spoke up, "Lord Hakushaku! Lord Hakushaku! The candle!"

Yumi turned to see a strange little figure with droopy skin and bulging eyes carrying a tea tray. "Wow!" She then headed over to him with a different candle and began walking circles around him. "Hmm...looks like the result of a failed mummification...this rotting flesh, the eyes falling out...wonder what step they messed up. Could it be..."

"I don't care what it is! Just make it go away! It's gross! Being dead is creepy enough...but ghosts and zombies!? I want to go home! I want Tatsumi! I want my Chichiri doll!" Miyu cried from behind the chair Yumi had vacated.

The count sweat dropped and said, "Ladies, please calm down. You are perfectly safe here."

"Oh, I'm not worried about my safety! I just want to analyze this thing..." Yumi said, still circling the little guy, still holding up the candle. She mumbled to herself, "The embalming process must have been cut short or done incorrectly...or perhaps he was a servant not deemed worthy enough for a full mummification..."

A while later, after Yumi's initial analysis of Watson and Tatsumi being brought in to calm the panicky Miyu, Lord Hakushaku asked for the short version of last night's hunt.

Despite the request, Yumi gave him a detailed description of the night before. Miyu, Still clinging tightly to Tatsumi who looked distinctly uncomfortable, tossed in bits of info she felt were important and relaxed a bit. The count then spoke, "Well, I'm glad to see both of you progressing along the path to become strong shinigami. So, are you getting used to it? Are you managing all right?"

Yumi spoke up here, "Well, now that you ask, I have a question for you."

"Yes Yumi-san?"

"I honestly don't mind this whole death and shinigami thing, but is there any way I could go back home for just two days?"

Tatsumi choked and Miyu fell forward a bit.

"Because, you see, my death occurred at a very inconvenient time. Right before I died I had been elected the head of the Japanese National Anthropology Society, and I had been planning a wonderful party for my acceptance of the position. I would really like to see how it turned out." Yumi looked at him with a smile.

"No. That's not possible."

"What about for an hour?"

"I'm sorry, but the answer must still be no."

"Please? I wouldn't even take a paid vacation for it."

"No."

"Please? If you let me I'll make Miyu give you a discount." Yumi pointed to the website still up on the laptop.

"Tempting, but no."

"Plea-" Yumi was cut off by Tatsumi intervening.

"Yumi-san, it is time to go. See you later Hakushaku-sama." Tatsumi said leading Yumi towards the door with his free arm. As she was being led out she turned around and asked one more thing.

"Can I run a few experiments on your servant?"

"NO!"

Right before they left the room, Miyu let go of Tatsumi's arm and reached for her camera; she placed a fuda on it as she took the time to carefully focus and snapped a shot of Hakushaku.

"You're still there."

If Hakushaku had a face he would have looked surprised. Instead Miyu quickly explained, "If you were a threat to me you would have been blinded or weakened by my spells."

Her usual smile spread across her face. "You have a groovie home! And I love working in the Shoka division! So many 'pretty things'!" She hugged Tatsumi's arm suggestively. "Do you like my website? I noticed that you had it up! Tatsumi worked really hard to help me get it started! He's nice, don't ya think?"

"It's a wonderful site Miyu-san."

Before Miyu left the room, she promised to bring Hakushaku a few of her favorite "Shoka Division" Pictures. Yumi turned to Miyu and snatched her camera for two quick pictures of the zombie-like creature.

After ushering the women out, Tatsumi bowed politely and turned to leave but Lord Hakushaku stopped him. "I read over your finance reports. An increase is needed in the personal spending allowances, is that correct?"

"Yes sir."

"Consider it done. Ask Miss Miyu if she would send those pictures to this e-mail address. I'm not sure when our next meeting might be." He turned back to his laptop.

Taking the card Tatsumi adjusted his glasses and took his leave, grinning.

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Yumi: Hakushaku-sama is so rude...how dare he keep me tied up for so long. I could have spent that time doing important research. I would like to research ways of getting more people to review. It is completely confounding me why we don't have ten reviews yet...it is such a mystery.

Miyu: Shut up you freak! I'm sure people aren't reviewing because I haven't brought up enough on Tomokazu Seki. If I made more references to him, I'm sure more people would review.

Yumi: NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR OBSESSION! There has to be a scientific reason and I will find it-even if it takes another year! But, until I find a scientific solution to get more to reviews, all I can do is ask and beg.

Miyu: Sticking out her tongue and glaring, everyone, please review.


	7. And it Continues

Disclaimers: We do not own these characters! They belong to the creator and publishing companies. We are simply borrowing them to have some fun!

Sol-Sorry for the delay, but no one's reviewing, so what do you expect?

Nemesis-Too true... how depressing. So, yet again, a humble plea for people to throw us a bone here.

Sol-And because I am such a generous person who is willing to overlook our lack of reviews, I am even putting out two chapters, this one and the next one.

Nemesis-You're too kind Sol. I say make them wait.

Sol-No, I'll be generous... this time. Besides, they're really short and don't do much for the overall plot in my opinion, but I'm much to lazy to edit them out and condense them into useful chapters. If somebody would review, I might be more motivated to revise, and not just edit old stuff.

Nemesis-Ah, the ulterior motive is revealed.

Chapter 7: And it Continues...

When they returned to EnmaCho's Shoka Division Tatsumi walked them to the conference room and scolded them for their behavior. "I hope, for your sakes, that today's performance will not repeat its self again. I can't remember anyone being so disrespectful."

"We're sorry Tatsumi-sempai. I may be dead, but I just wasn't prepared for that. Unlike Yumi-san, who loves all that creepy dead stuff, I just...can't..."

"I didn't mean any disrespect. I simply found it all so fascinating. I think I'll go record my findings. May I be excused?"

Tatsumi blocked the door. "Before that, I fully expect a letter of apology to Lord Hakushaku, from both of you. I'll pick them up to be delivered in an hour."

Yumi left and Miyu followed Tatsumi back to the office. There he handed her Hakushaku's card and told her she could e-mail her apology there, with of course a few pictures he may like. Miyu's mood improved greatly at that and she ran to her desk and pulled out a bundle of cloth. She shook it out and it was really 3 different outfits. Miyu laughed happily and skipped out of the room with her camera in hand, calling for Tsuzuki."

Watari looked up as Yumi entered. "Something wrong Yumi-san? You look a bit upset."

"I'd say..." She sighed, "Tatsumi-kun is a bastard." Yumi sat down at her desk and put her chin on her hand.

"What did he do?" Watari asked, raising his eyebrow at the strong description, wondering if he really wanted to know.

"He's making me write a letter of apology to the count just because I tried to conduct a scientific investigation of him and his little servant. I swear that the little guy is the result of a failed mummification, and the count seems to be a classic case of disembodiment, but they won't let me analyze either one further. Is the pursuit of fact too much to ask for?" Yumi again sighed dramatically as she pulled out a large piece of folded paper. "I hate apologizing. I shouldn't have too, I'm always in the right after all."

Watari was taking down notes, and asked, "Making you?"

"Yes! If I don't, he won't give me funding to buy the necessary books for my continued research. It just isn't fair." Yumi pulled out a pen and began writing.

Watari ventured over and glanced over her shoulder. "Need some help? I have a bit of experience with these... you blow up a lab a few hundred times and they get all bent out of shape."

She looked up and laughed a bit. "So, they just have a thing against scientists huh?"

Watari started reading. "Um... what is this?" He asked as she unfolded many sheets. On the paper, he saw a neatly columned chart. At the top were names, Tsuzuki, Hisoka, Watari, Tatsumi, Konoe, and now she was writing in Shaku-sama and Watson.

"Oh, this? These are my observations of everyone. It helps me in my study. I mean, I'm an anthropologist, and therefore extremely interested in people, I mean, I study ancient cultures, and try to make connections with how it led to civilization as it is now. Everyone is here is like a perfect subject, I mean, the people around here are from all different ages of man... it's a dream come true." Yumi commented, writing in some notes under the new entries.

"What an excellent idea!" She looked up at his voice and noticed that he was writing notes down like crazy.

She decided to ask something that had been bothering her. "Hey, I have a question for you. Why are you always taking notes when Miyu or I are around?"

Watari perked up and smiled and launched into a speech. "I want to understand women! I've been trying to create a sex change formula for years, but it hasn't quite worked yet, so with you and Miyu here, I've been writing down observations in pursuit of my goal!"

Yumi stared at the genki shinigami and then said, "That's interesting. Perhaps a rather strange goal, but research is fun no matter what the question. I'm always willing to help with research! The pursuit of knowledge and facts is the key to enjoying life, as far as I'm concerned." She paused, "Well, we are dead, but you know what I mean. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'll answer them to the best of my ability." Watari's eyes really lit up at the last part. Watching him, Yumi thought, _"Hmm...Maybe I shouldn't have said that quite so quickly."_

Watari was just about to start asking questions when there was a knock. "Come in!"

Tatsumi entered the room and when he looked around, he thought, _"This place is a complete and total disaster area between Watari's experiments and Yumi's artifacts."_ He ignored the war zone the best he could, suppressing the urge to shudder violently, and approached Yumi, sidestepping the sarcophagus now laying in the middle of the room much like a coffee table.

"I came to pick up your report on the Makaku incident."

Yumi suppressed the urge to glare at him and turned thoughtful, muttering, "Now what did I file that under? Was it Porre, Makaku, or brains?" She thought a moment longer and then said louder, "Oh yeah! It's under canopic jars!"

Tatsumi, afraid to ask, but much too curious not to, "Yumi-san, why did you file it under canopic jars?"

"Oh, well, during the mummification processes used in the past, all the internal organs, including the brain, were removed before the embalming process. The organs were then put into canopic jars. It makes perfect sense to me." Yumi said nonchalantly as she opened her file cabinet. "Here you go."

"Thank you. I'll be back later for your letter. See you later." Tatsumi said and backed out of the room.

She glared at the retreating form, "Bastard. I still don't think I should have to write a letter of apology." She looked over at Watari, "So, what are your suggestions?" She sweatdropped as she saw him start a new piece of paper.

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Miyu: No fair Yumi! I was hardly in that chapter at all! No one is going to review if I don't make an appearance!

Yumi: Are you implying that I don't have any fans? How dare you! Why would anyone care if a trashy tabloid photographer like yourself makes an appearance? Besides, you're the one who ran off to torture poor Tsuzuki again!

Miyu: Everyone will care if I make an appearance! No one cares about a cadaver loving freak like yourself!

Yumi, shaking with anger, "You'll pay for your implications! Power of the sun. The strongest flame in existence. Listen to me and come forth, power of the sun god..."

Watari grabs her hand before she can finish the spell, while Tatsumi prevents Miyu from reaching her fuda and camera.

Tsuzuki steps forward while Watari and Tatsumi struggle to hold back Miyu and Yumi. "Everyone, please review...it's the only thing that calms them down other than tying them up."


	8. What's This?

Disclaimers: We do not own these characters! They belong to the creator and publishing companies. We are simply borrowing them to have some fun!

Nemesis-Here's what Sol promised, a second chapter in the same day.

Sol-I will apologize for the fact that these are just pure humor and not really plot-but you just wait till the next chapter-guess who makes an appearance...

Chapter 8: What's This?

In punishment, the two had to spend the next few weeks training and doing paperwork, and besides, there weren't any new cases popping up. To pass the boring time, Miyu and Yumi continued to fight on what seemed an hourly basis in addition to constantly playing jokes on each other, generally just driving all of their coworkers completely insane! Tsuzuki just ignored them-occasionally being drawn into their jokes, Hisoka avoided them to avoid headaches, Tatusmi quickly made his way through an industrial-sized bottle of aspirin, Wakaba just laughed at them, Terazuma contemplated their demise in many ways, Watari just blew up his lab a few more times than usual seeing as his experiments kept getting interrupted, and Konoe reapeatedly threatened them, but was extremely grateful that Yuma and Saya (The Hokkaido Girls) chose to stay in Hokkaido and far away-therefore saving him from more crazy females.

The two came up with many ways to torture each other.  Shortly after their first battle Miyu developed her film from the battle and with a little help from Watari (you know his power to animate pictures), was able to leave a pile of brains stuffed in Yumi's desk drawer. In retaliation Yumi rigged Miyu's camera to send the flash back towards Miyu-ruining her film sessions. Another time, Yumi wrapped a soundly sleeping Miyu tightly in bandages like a mummy. So Miyu secretly set up a web cam in Yumi's room and a new site in Shoka Division began to gain popularity. A week later, Yumi found the hidden camera and pulled the plug. The next day all Miyu's cooking was dry and inedible, because 'someone' replaced all the sugar with salt.

Finally after an incredibly boring three weeks, a case came up. Yumi and Miyu jumped on the chance to get out of Enma Cho. Things didn't exactly go as planned though...

"Out of all our training that had to be more disturbing than the first time I met Shaku-sempai's little zombie. And hey, I don't mind a bit of blood shed and a slight case of murder...But ewww..."

"Stop whining." Yumi scolded as she put the container on the common room's table.

Tsuzuki nudged Hisoka in the side and winked. Hisoka rolled his eyes. Tsuzuki was just happy that for once it wasn't him who botched a mission.

The chief slouched in his chair and rubbed his temples, Miyu noticed the vain popping out slightly. "That can't be good!"

"What is that? And what's that behind your back Miyu-chan?"

Miyu sweat dropped. "Umm..." She held out a hand full of film cases. "Here's the bad guy you wanted us to get sir! He's good and dead, no more brutal murders for him!"

The chief's eyes almost bugged out he was so mad. "YOU WERE SUPOSED TO BRING BACK HIS SPIRT! NOT HIS ASHES!"

Yumi gave a delicate cough. "I'm sure his spirit is in the ashes. Either way, he's here right? It's not like he needed his form-human or corporeal-anymore anyway." It sounded perfectly logical to her.

Miyu nodded in agreement.

"And what's in the other jar?" Tatsumi asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.

"Ummmm...." Yumi laughed nervously and Miyu turned a bit green. "We kind of caught the guy in the act."

Miyu turned a darker shade of green.

"Are you ok Miyu-chan?" Hisoka asked.

Watari reached for the cloth covering the large jar. Yumi stopped him.

"Just remember, this isn't my fault! If Miyu hadn't thrown up on me we could have stopped this from happening!"

Miyu clutched her stomach. "Oh, please don't uncover that...."

The chief ran out of patience and took the cloth away. In the jar floated bits of intestine, a few chunks of bone, a left hand minus three of the fingers, and a single eyeball that was aimed right at Miyu...Who promptly threw up on Tsuzuki.

"Damn it Tsuzuki! This is all your fault!  I knew I shouldn't have let you train them!" The chief got up and stormed from the room. Watari held Miyu's hair away from her face while Tatsumi re-covered the jar.

"Miyu, you're such a wuss." Yumi said cheerfully, "At least I preserved it. It could be decaying!"

Miyu gagged again, "YOU ARE SOOOOO MORBID! GO AWAY!"

Hisoka helped a stunned Tsuzuki out of his soiled coat. And Watari led the crying and still green Miyu to the medical wing.

Yumi smiled, "It's not my fault I was born a scientist!"

Tatsumi sweat dropped and called down to clean up and went back to his office to review a few finance reports.

That night Yumi spun into Watari's office in a beautiful evening gown. Watari whistled and 003 clapped her wings. "What's the occasion Yumi-san?"

"Here, I borrowed this from Miyu." Yumi tossed him an elegant tuxedo.

Watari blinked in confusion. "..."

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Miyu: (Still gagging) You sarcophagus storing sicko! And no one believes me when I tell them you literally make me sick!

Yumi: And you make me annoyed! Just shut up and do the job I've assigned you to!

Miyu: If you want people to send you fan mail so badly YOU do it! I'm not feeling well... (gags)

Tsuzuki runs from the room before Miyu ruins his clothes again. Hisoka follows, and Tatsumi asks Watari to take Miyu to the medical wing.

Yumi perks up now that Miyu is gone. "Please review! And feel free to flame Miyu for being a wuss!"


End file.
